What's Different?

For all of you who know me personally, please accept my apologies for my excessive bitchiness over the next few days. If I offend you, just remind yourself that I'm hungry. Really hungry. And in a constant state of deprivation!

Anyways, we are more than halfway through detox day 2. I'm still alive, as is everyone around me, so we'll call that winning. I was sitting in my boss's office today munching on carrots, tomatoes and green peppers and I told her that I keep asking myself how I know this will be different than every other time. How will this be different than when I had a nutritionist as a kit? Or when I was in weight watchers as a teenager? Or did Body For Life in college? Or Southbeach in my early 20s? Or the hcg diet before I got married? Don't get me wrong - I lost weight on most of those. But I wasn't ever able to keep it off and I certainly never achieved my goal weight.

It's so puzzling to me because I am such an overachiever in every other area of my life. I achieve my professional goals and constantly work towards new ones. I achieve my financial goals and set the bar higher. I achieved my academic goals. I've achieved other personal goals. But while health has always seemed like my highest priority, I've never been able to achieve my weight loss goals.

Something I read in my good friend Michelle's new blog (check it out here) really struck a cord with me. She asks "If you did nothing else this year what is the ONE thing you would like to accomplish?". For me, that would be reaching and maintaining my goal weight. I know I'll look better and feel better emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. But, really, am I living day-to-day like that is the one goal I want to achieve? How much of my daily energy and efforts go towards that goal? Historically, I would say very little. Historically, most of my energy goes into other things and other people: my job, my marriage, my house, my finances. And while none of those are bad things, if I really want to walk away from 2011 having achieved my goal weight in a healthy, sustainable way, then that is where my energy needs to be.

So what does that look like? Following through on this commitment to myself. Making this my top priority. I don't skip work because I'm too tired so why would I skip a workout for that reason? I don't skip a shower because I'm too lazy so why would I neglect my meal planning or healthy cooking for that reason? Over the past 27+ years I have conditioned myself to think that some things are negotiable: exercise, sleep, healthy eating. Well, in order for me to walk away from 2011 at a healthy weight, I need to decide that those are no longer negotiables. They are constants. They are requirements.

So....that's what's different. What's different for you?

(PS - Please follow me on twitter: bentonek)