Is Failing Really Failing?

Hey guys -
Before I dive into my post today - I've got a favor to ask - I only have a few more days of this competition at work about who can get the most followers on twitter. If you are reading this - can you help me get some more followers? All you have to do is click "follow" when you find me on twitter - my handle is bentonek - if you could ask others to do the same, that would be awesome. Thanks!

Moving right along. I'm feeling really good this week. I'm down more than 15 lbs and I've lost at least 8 inches. My clothes are starting to fit better. I have very few cravings. My energy is up. I feel great. But in the back of my mind is that thought that I still have a long journey ahead. I'm not a girl who has 20-30 lbs to lose. I really need to lose around 100. Gah - that number is so daunting.

I've tried a MILLION different plans to lose weight. And I've failed at each of them. And I know that all this yo-yo dieting has really screwed my metabolism.

One of my biggest failures was right before my wedding. About 6 months before my wedding, I bought a wedding dress that was a least 3 sizes too small. I couldn't even come close to fitting into it. But it was gorgeous. And I figured there was no better way to motivate myself to lose weight than a wedding dress that I HAD to fit into. Otherwise, I'd be walking down the aisle in sweats.  (Disclaimer - that was a bad decision - emotionally and physically unhealthy - I don't recommend it).

In order to fit into my dress, I decided to do one of those insane HCG diets. They are all over the news right now. Let me start by saying: THEY SUCK. THEY DON'T WORK. Sure, you'll lose weight crazy fast but it will be miserable and you'll gain it back. I'm not the only person who's experienced that. In hindsight, I realize that any diet that requires that you follow a plan that you can't stick with forever is leading you to failure. Sure - if you take hcg drops twice each day and eat 400 calories a day, the weight is going to fall off. I lost over 50 lbs in 40 days. But I had no energy. I was going to bed around 8:30 every night and I was miserable. I couldn't go out to eat, I avoided hanging out with friends, and I was STARVING all the time. It was just enough to fit in to my wedding dress. But within 6 weeks after my wedding, I had gained all the weight back plus 15 lbs. Yeah. 6 weeks. And I didn't go on a crazy binge after my wedding - I just went back to generally healthy eating with a cheat meal about once a week. I was devastated.

So now, here I am, losing that same 50 lbs all over again. But, I kinda feel like that failure wasn't a total failure. I learned that losing weight quickly isn't all its cracked up to be. I realized that diets don't work. They don't. Sure, anybody can drastically reduce their calories and lose weight, but if you aren't going to maintain that calorie level for the rest of your life, you aren't going to keep the weight off. The HCG diet prepared me for the mindset that I believe will make me successful this time around. I don't expect myself to be perfect all the time. I don't expect that I'm going to avoid all sweets until I reach my goal weight. Why not? Because I'm not going to avoid them for the rest of my life.

I'm not going to force myself to exercise for 2 hours every day. Why? Because I know that's not realistic for every day of the rest of my life.

I have embraced the fact that my weight loss will be slow and that it will take a long time to reach my goal weight. Before, I was always in a rush. Now, I'm not dieting to lose weight. I'm not restricting my food so that I can be at my goal weight by a certain date. I'm just changing my life. I'm changing the way I think about food and exercise and I am certain that my body will follow.

So like most things - my greatest "failures" were actually some of my best learning experiences.