Too much or not enough?

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. I think all this rainy, cold weather is making me tired! I'm thinking I'm also tired because I'm not eating enough. I was looking today at my daily intake and I think it's right at or just below 1,000 calories. I need to be getting a good bit more than that. So tonight I figured I'd make a big omelet for dinner with lots of veggies. I stopped by the grocery to pick up some green peppers for my omelet and changed gears on the dinner plan.

The only time I've had kale was when I was visiting my sister Emily this summer. She went out and picked kale out of her garden and came in and sauteed it with some sweet onion and a little olive oil then topped it with a little low fat feta. It was amazing. Inspired by the organic kale at the grocery, I decided to re-create it. It was pretty damn delicious - not near as good as fresh out of the garden - but still pretty good. I decided to also pick up a summer roll (cucumber, lettuce, carrot, avocado and crab wrapped in rice paper). Totally random combo, but it was GOOD!

So - my focus for the next few days is going to be on trying to eat a little bit more, a little bit more often, focusing specifically on vegetables and protein. Gonna start in the AM by making that omelet I was planning to have for dinner tonight!

Inspiration

Hey guys! Hope you're having a great Wednesday! It is raining and cold here in NC.

I've been taking note lately of how important it is for me to stay connected to people and things that inspire me. With a long road of weight loss and self improvement ahead of me, if I don't stay plugged in to those things it is easy for me to lose focus and get discouraged. I read something the other day that was a major inspiration to me. So much so, in fact, that I printed it out and posted it on my wall at work. Check it out.

This lady is 94 years old and still practicing yoga daily. And I'm not talking about sitting around stretching - she still masters some of the most challenging poses - things that I can only dream about doing and I'm only 27!! After reading it I realized that there is nothing keeping me from having the same story when I'm 94. But, that type of thing doesn't happen by accident. Am I doing everything I can so that can be my story?

"Peacock received the loudest applause of the afternoon. The challenging arm balance gives even the most advance asana junkie pause, but given that it was being performed so effortlessly by 92-year-old Tao Porchon-Lynch added to the heartfelt reply. Having just healed a broken wrist and recently completed (and won) a 16-hour marathon ballroom dance competition, there was little the fireball seemed incapable of. I made an affirmation to myself to both never complain again when asked to do a particular posture, and to demand the same of my own students.

Tao has been practicing yoga for over seven decades and teaching for two score and five years. While nothing new was covered in the Iyengar-style workshop (she studied with the man in India forty years ago) held at Strala Yoga, you really didn’t attend for groundbreaking postural referencing. Given the fact that Tao moves as gracefully as she does at 92 was reason enough to sign up. No one left feeling differently.

Having attended two David Williams workshops at Pure Yoga the weekend prior, it was like watching history still in process. Williams was the first non-Indian to study with Pattabhi Jois, bringing Ashtanga Yoga back to America. Both instructors discussed the importance of a dedicated, continual practice; both mentioned that experience alone will grant you the knowledge of remaining youthful as you age. Tao herself kept referring to the fact that she’s still constantly being educated by yoga, and that in her mind she’s no different than the child that grew up during the Depression yet obviously never clung to a depressed state of mind.

Most importantly, it was refreshing witnessing an elder so in command of her body and mind. At a time when mandated healthcare is being vehemently derided, when politicians are lobbying to cut, end or privatize Medicare and Social Security, when the process of aging is seen as a disgraceful burden on our national debt, Tao’s simple message of self-empowerment -- that you can do anything you want -- provided a warm sense of comfort. Talk is one thing, however; seeing her smoothly float into a Half Moon pose or wrap up her arms into Eagle provided validity to her words.

It is true that we all have our own karma to deal with, and we arrive at similar places via different routes. Perhaps Tao’s genes predisposed her to long health. Regardless, her Peacock will remain with me. I’m constantly warned by students about their limitations, the injuries or mental afflictions that don’t allow them to practice fully. While I’d never advocate pushing past our personal capabilities, we have to play the edge of our abilities or we never grow. Feeling victimized by life is a certain harbinger of death. Remaining resilient to self-doubt and open to the possibilities of what we are capable of is the surest sign of life."

Lists

Hi guys!
A little something about me: I'm a list maker. I love lists. I like my lists to be on paper (not on the computer - there is something about physically writing things down that is helpful to me).

I have lists at work and at home. I'm constantly adding to my lists. Every night before I leave work I write out a list of my work goals for the next day. There is always more on each list than I can feasibly get done in a day, but I'll highlight the critical ones and be sure those get done first. There is something so rewarding about crossing things off my work lists.

On the weekends, I create my "home" list for all the things I want to accomplish that day: laundry, bathrooms, floors, errands, etc. I rarely keep these home lists during the week because there is so much going on after work that I'm generally in survival mode. Today, however, I decided to make a list of today's home goals. Let me just say that it has been tremendously helpful! It's 7:30 and even though I didn't leave work until 5:30, I've already run two errands, cooked and eaten dinner, cleaned up from dinner, washed my tupperware from lunch, loaded the dishwasher and packed tomorrow's food. I'm taking a quick break to send some emails and write this blog, then I'm off to workout, do some laundry and head to bed. Just by writing down the day's goals for home, no matter how small they are, has kept me focused and on track. More importantly than that - seeing what I have to accomplish and knowing I have the time to do it, has kept me from getting stressed or feeling overwhelmed or unfocused. It makes the atmosphere at home positive and upbeat. That makes me feel good.

Oh - and here's a pic of dinner. Looks good, right? Steak and brussel sprouts! Yum!!

The Best Offense is a Good Defense

There are many instances in which "the best offense is a good defense" is applicable. However, for me, I've found the reverse to oftentimes be more useful. For me, more often than not, the best defense is a good offense.

At work, I defend against stress by being organized, trying to stay ahead of schedule and proactively planning to avoid possible setbacks.

In my marriage, I defend against arguments or stress by choosing to have a positive attitude, choosing to compliment my husband, choosing to not engage in trivial disagreements.

In my journey to get healthy and lose weight I am learning to defend against temptations, setbacks and discouragements. While I don't have it entirely figured out yet, I am learning every day. I learned this morning that failing to plan can really be a plan to fail. Despite going to bed early last night, I didn't get up on time this morning and I didn't have time to make breakfast. I ended up eating my morning snack for breakfast and forgetting my protein bar. So now, its early afternoon and I'm hungry with no options. In the past, this would when I'd make a desperate rush to the vending machine. But, I chalking this up as a learning opportunity and just increasing my water intake to help curb the hunger.

Defending against temptation means not going out to eat as often. One great piece of advice I got relating to eating out was to look at the menu before you go and decide what you will order. That way, when you get there and your hungry, you don't have to sift through all the temptations on the menu. Love that! It also means getting my husband on board with not having junk in the house. Even though he is not doing TLS with me, the least he can do to support me is not bring temptations in the house. (He knows he'll lose a limb if he even thinks about bringing chocolate peanut butter ice cream into the house).

Defending against discouragement means not checking my weight every day. Not subjecting myself to the emotional torture of normal weight fluctuations. It means not setting unrealistic expectations of rapid weight loss. It means embracing slow, measured body change as a result of permanent lifestyle changes.

What proactive steps do you take to help you stay on track?

Micro-Goals

Hey ya'll!

I don't know about you but I set little micro-goals for myself. Small, manageable goals. I set micro-goals for my work, finances, marriage and certainly for my weight loss.

My first micro-goal for weight loss is 20 lbs. And I'm just a few pounds away from that. And while I'm not trying to reward myself with food, I am seriously considering having a "cheat meal" (I really hate that phrase) next weekend.

In the past, I would have a cheat meal and then not get on track. Right now, I'm thinking the cheat meal is important not so much because I want the food but rather because I have to prove to myself that I can get back on track. Does that make sense? I have to prove to myself that I can still be successful even when I go off track.

I'd love to know what you guys think - cheat meal or no?

I've Noticed A Difference

Morning and Happy Monday!

So last week I made a little change to my program and I've noticed that my rate of weight loss has increased since I made the change. (Disclaimer - I am not here to push this product and I don't make any money if you guys all go out and buy it. I'm just sharing what has impressed me so far).

At work, I was sitting through a vendor's presentation on an ingredient called CLA (conjugated linoleic acid) and the science behind this ingredient was pretty strong. I left the meeting and got myself a bottle of our CLA. The CLA in this product is a brand called Tonalin and the science behind Tonalin is pretty incredible.

However - I'm always a skeptic until I see the results myself. I've noticed that my BF% and my weight is going down more quickly now that I am supplementing with CLA. Here are a few things that I learned about Tonalin that have impressed me:

• It has 18 clinical studies which support its role in reducing body fat
• It targets fat loss in the tummy and legs (um, hello! Yes please!)
• It helps to reduce the number of fat cells by inducing cell death in these cells 
• It increases the rate of fat burning in the mitochondria
• It decreases fat storage after eating

Can you see why I went and got a bottle right after my meeting? So far, so good. I'll keep you posted, but right now, I'm a HUGE fan.

Is Failing Really Failing?

Hey guys -
Before I dive into my post today - I've got a favor to ask - I only have a few more days of this competition at work about who can get the most followers on twitter. If you are reading this - can you help me get some more followers? All you have to do is click "follow" when you find me on twitter - my handle is bentonek - if you could ask others to do the same, that would be awesome. Thanks!

Moving right along. I'm feeling really good this week. I'm down more than 15 lbs and I've lost at least 8 inches. My clothes are starting to fit better. I have very few cravings. My energy is up. I feel great. But in the back of my mind is that thought that I still have a long journey ahead. I'm not a girl who has 20-30 lbs to lose. I really need to lose around 100. Gah - that number is so daunting.

I've tried a MILLION different plans to lose weight. And I've failed at each of them. And I know that all this yo-yo dieting has really screwed my metabolism.

One of my biggest failures was right before my wedding. About 6 months before my wedding, I bought a wedding dress that was a least 3 sizes too small. I couldn't even come close to fitting into it. But it was gorgeous. And I figured there was no better way to motivate myself to lose weight than a wedding dress that I HAD to fit into. Otherwise, I'd be walking down the aisle in sweats.  (Disclaimer - that was a bad decision - emotionally and physically unhealthy - I don't recommend it).

In order to fit into my dress, I decided to do one of those insane HCG diets. They are all over the news right now. Let me start by saying: THEY SUCK. THEY DON'T WORK. Sure, you'll lose weight crazy fast but it will be miserable and you'll gain it back. I'm not the only person who's experienced that. In hindsight, I realize that any diet that requires that you follow a plan that you can't stick with forever is leading you to failure. Sure - if you take hcg drops twice each day and eat 400 calories a day, the weight is going to fall off. I lost over 50 lbs in 40 days. But I had no energy. I was going to bed around 8:30 every night and I was miserable. I couldn't go out to eat, I avoided hanging out with friends, and I was STARVING all the time. It was just enough to fit in to my wedding dress. But within 6 weeks after my wedding, I had gained all the weight back plus 15 lbs. Yeah. 6 weeks. And I didn't go on a crazy binge after my wedding - I just went back to generally healthy eating with a cheat meal about once a week. I was devastated.

So now, here I am, losing that same 50 lbs all over again. But, I kinda feel like that failure wasn't a total failure. I learned that losing weight quickly isn't all its cracked up to be. I realized that diets don't work. They don't. Sure, anybody can drastically reduce their calories and lose weight, but if you aren't going to maintain that calorie level for the rest of your life, you aren't going to keep the weight off. The HCG diet prepared me for the mindset that I believe will make me successful this time around. I don't expect myself to be perfect all the time. I don't expect that I'm going to avoid all sweets until I reach my goal weight. Why not? Because I'm not going to avoid them for the rest of my life.

I'm not going to force myself to exercise for 2 hours every day. Why? Because I know that's not realistic for every day of the rest of my life.

I have embraced the fact that my weight loss will be slow and that it will take a long time to reach my goal weight. Before, I was always in a rush. Now, I'm not dieting to lose weight. I'm not restricting my food so that I can be at my goal weight by a certain date. I'm just changing my life. I'm changing the way I think about food and exercise and I am certain that my body will follow.

So like most things - my greatest "failures" were actually some of my best learning experiences.

Inch by Inch

Hey guys - Happy Friday - It's halftime of the KU game so I have a min to write (Go Jayhawks!!)

Anyways - even though I'm not quite done with week 3, I felt the urge to check my measurements today. Weight loss (lbs) was really fast during detox and has been a lot slower since. And if you've been reading for a bit you know that I'm trying to stay off the scale. So even though the weight loss has been slower, I'm definitely feeling a difference in my clothes. Hence the decision to check the inches. I'm so glad I did. You ready for this??

In less than 3 weeks I've lost 8 inches!!

Crazy, right? I've lost 3 inches around my waist - 2.5 inches around my bust - 1.5 around my hips and about a half inch on each arm. I'm super pumped.

I'm equally as excited about the mental victories. This was the first Friday in a long time that I didn't have to talk myself out of a big cheat meal (Mexican - margarhitas - ice cream). Honestly - that doesn't even really tempt me right now! So great.

Happy weekend to you guys!

The Perfect Time For Dinner

I'm searching for the perfect time for dinner. After work I'm really hungry. I want dinner. But if I eat too early, I'm hungry before bed. If I eat later, I'm hungry after work. Snacks aren't as satisfying as a meal. I've got a good routine at work but I haven't figured out the home thing yet. That's my random thought for the evening. Now I'm happy to settle in and watch Grey's Anatomy. I've already worked out and cleaned the kitchen - tomorrow's lunch is packed - hubby is at his softball game (I bailed cause it was at 9:30 - too late for me).

G'night y'all! Oh - saw a great presentation on CLA the other day - lookin forward to sharing the info on here. XO

Priorities

The other day someone posed this introspective challenge: Look at your bank account and your calendar and that will tell you what your priorities are. Where you spend your time and money is a direct reflection of your priorities. Not necessarily what your priorities should be, or even what you want them to be, but definitely what they are.

If I'm being really honest, my calendar shows me that my priorities are probably work, television, God, fitness, marriage, family. If I look at my bank account it would probably reflect that my priority is getting out of debt. That is not a reflection of how I want my priorities to line up. Not at all. Those priorities aren't helping me reach my goals. They aren't helping make me a better person. In fact, they are in large part keeping me from reaching my goals.

The easy part is determining what I want my priorities to be. The hard part is aligning my actions with those priorities. Honestly, I don't even know what that looks like. Sure, some things are easy. Watch less tv. Turn off the TV and spend more time with my husband - go to bed earlier so I can get up and work out before work.  Be more diligent about reading my Bible and spending more time in prayer. Other things aren't quite so easy. I work my butt off at work and sometimes I feel like I need my down-time after work - like its the only thing that sustains me through the week. And while I know that is selfish, when is it good to be selfish and when do I just need to get off my butt?

It's easy to avoid spending quality time with my husband because "date nights" often include dinner out or ice cream after a movie and frankly - my "comfort zone" here at home really helps me to stay on track right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah - we could have date nights of things that are "active" but still - its just harder to go out and do things when you're trying really hard to have structure in your life. At least for me. So spare me the suggestions that we go for a walk or some lame crap like that.

I don't have the answers and I don't much feel like coming up with them right now - that's just on my heart so I'm writing about it. But I'm exhausted so I don't have any more to say about that right now.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Hey guys - hope everyone is having a great Tuesday! The weather here is gorgeous! We just grilled out - so nice! Anyways...down to business....

I read a blog today that really impacted me. In talking about the importance of guarding our words, he referenced Proverbs 15:4 - "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit"

While there are a million ways to apply this to the words we say to and about others or the lies we tell to or about others - it didn't strike me that way. Thinking about a "deceitful tongue" really makes me think about the lies I tell myself. The way that my spirit has been crushed by the lies I've been telling myself for years.

The lies started when I was a kid - I adopted other people's thoughts about me and made them truths. When kids, and then teenagers, teased me and called me names, over time I made them my reality. When I dated guys who told me I'd be so pretty if I would just lose weight, I accepted that I was unattractive and unworthy. I received, and then internalized, constant messages that I wasn't complete because of my weight. All the comments of "You are so smart, so talented, so kind...if only you could lose weight" made me feel like (and believe) I wasn't good enough because I was overweight. On top of that, every failed attempt to lose weight made me believe that I can't do it. That I'll always be fat.

Here's what I know: I believe in God's promises. I believe that everything is possible through Christ. I've allowed my own spirit to be crushed by my negative self talk. The great news is that I can undo that damage. It's not going to happen overnight, but in time, I can rebuild my spirit - I can believe in myself and my strength. And I can do this. But it starts by stopping the lies I've told myself and starting a new chapter.

What lies do you tell yourself?


 

Positive People

I have to surround myself with people that make me better. People who challenge me and help me grow. People who encourage me to meet my goals and hold me accountable. I think everyone has people like that in their life. But we also have people who don't bring out the best in us. And oftentimes, those people are close friends or even family. I am really making an effort to minimize the impact that the latter has on my life, my attitude and my personal growth. It's not easy.

One of the people who really challenges me and supports me - someone I learn from everytime I talk to her - is my friend Michelle. If you haven't already, you need to check out her blog. I love it. Her latest post is about excuses. Excuses are something that have really held me back when I've tried to lose weight before. I could write a book of excuses. And honestly - I still really struggle with excuses. I should have worked out tonight but I didn't. In fact, I had plans with a friend tonight that were canceled so I had even more time that I expected. But I didn't. I didn't do anything. I ate my healthy dinner, cleaned up, packed tomorrow's lunch, played with the dog...and not much else. And I'm mad at myself for making the excuse that I am too tired - I didn't sleep well last night - I have emails to catch up on, etc.

But, I'm going to take the advice Michelle gave in her blog today and I'm going to set two goals for the rest of the month of March. While there is only this week and next left in March, I WILL workout 5 times this week and 5 times next week. No excuses. (Even in my mind right now I'm thinking about how I have plans every single night this week and how I'll have to wake up early and how tired I am). Oh well - I guess there are always excuses - everyone has them. But what makes us different is how we respond to excuses. I'll overcome them. I'll be successful in spite of them. And I'll continue to surround myself with people who challenge me and help me become the person I want to be. How about you?

Balancing and Other Practical Matters

Every Saturday I plan out the next week's meals and make my grocery list. This can be a bit of challenge for me since I have to take into account what things my husband will eat, how much time I have to cook that night and having a variety of healthy foods. For example, the only night this week that we don't have an evening commitment is Tuesday. That can be tough when it comes to cooking since I generally don't get home until around 6 and our engagements are either at 7 or 6:30. All my meals have to meet the following criteria: my husband will eat them (picky eater), they are low GI, include both protein AND vegetables and can be prepped and cooked within 30 minutes (there might be one night a week where I have 60 minutes to cook). Most weeks, that feels like a pretty tall order. I also factor in one night where we do our own thing - I'll put together a salad with some leftovers and Aaron can do whatever he wants.

This week will look a little like this:

• Sunday - Turkey meatloaf and brussel sprouts
• Monday - Pistacchio crusted chicken with avocado lime sauce served over lettuce
• Tuesday - Grilled steaks and salad
• Wednesday - Potroast with veggies in the crockpot
• Thursday - Veggie omelets
• Friday - leftovers

Most of the time, I'll take leftovers to work for lunch the next day. When there aren't any leftovers (or what I made was terrible) I have tuna and veggies for lunch.

Today, when I went to the grocery store, I had to remind myself that while I am spending more at the grocery store, I'm spending less overall. I'm saving by not going out to eat as much, by not buying sodas or other snacks, not stopping at Chick-fil-A for breakfast. Everything I eat I buy at the grocery store. While I'm spending about $30/week more at the grocery store, I'm pretty sure I'm saving about $20/week overall.

I still feel really good - I feel strong and positive. The only thing that has the power to get me down right now is the scale and that's why I'm staying off of it. I know that I'm doing what I need to do and the scale will follow. Here's to another great week!

Right Choices

It was not hard to have a healthy breakfast this morning. It wasn't even hard to have a healthy lunch. Making one good decision has never been hard for me. Making hundreds of good decisions is hard. Making a change for a day is easy. Making a change for a lifetime is hard. I read this quote today and quickly decided it will be a new mantra of mine:

"Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time"


That quote is reinforcement that I can do this. That this is a long journey, but I can make it because I just have to make one good choice. Then another. And create a habit of doing what is right on an ongoing basis. I don't need to get overwhelmed about how much weight I'll have lost in 3 months. Or how much I'll weigh in 6 months. Or what size clothes I'll be wearing next year at this time. Or what if I get pregnant before I reach my goal weight. None of that matters. The weight on the scale doesn't matter. I just have to make the right choice at the right time and all of this will fall in to place. 


Historically, I set these big goals. In 3 months, I'll have lost 25 lbs. In 6 months I'll have lost 40. I'll workout 5 times each week. I'll be at my goal weight within 10 months. Unfortunately, at the first sign that I'm not going to reach one of my goals, I jump ship. I feel defeated and I tell myself I'm a failure. But the reality is that if I make healthy choices 80% of the time, I exercise regularly, I get enough sleep - I begin taking care of my body - my body will take care of me. The weight will come off. The clothes will fit better. My energy will increase. I will be healthier.


The problem with me comes when I make one bad choice and tell myself I'm a failure. Feeling worthless turns one bad choice into a month of bad choices. But my new mantra will remind me that after one choice, good or bad, the slate is clear and I have an opportunity to make myself better with my next choice.

Dear Scale: You're Fired

Disclaimer: One of my challenges to myself with this blog is to avoid self-editing. This is different from a journal in that I know people are reading my thoughts, challenges, successes, etc. In the back of my mind, I want to avoid people who don't know me from judging me, people I do know from criticizing me, and close family and friends knowing some deeply personal things. On the other hand, I want this to be very real because it's first and primary objective  is to help ME reach my goal. So what you are about to read is a long-standing, deep-rooted struggle for me that I need to end.

I need to end my battle with my scale. I am in control of the battle and the only one who has kept it going is me. Up until now, my scale has had the power to turn my day into a great day or a terrible day. To pinpoint me as a failure or to grant me victory. I tell myself that my scale is my accountability partner. It tells me when I'm on track or when I'm too slack. And this isn't a new thing. This unhealthy relationship with the scale goes back to when I was 6 or 7 years old - seriously. As an overweight kid, my mom was really concerned about my weight. Her concern was out of love - she only wanted me to be happy and healthy - but in her attempts to help me, I developed a major complex about my weight and the scale. She would have me weigh myself in front of her each morning for a long, long time. I remember one morning when I was probably only about 7, before I went to weigh in with her, I cut my own hair - from underneath so no one would notice - thinking that might help me to drop some weight so I could be "successful" in my weigh in. Other times I would spit into a cup for 10-15 minutes - again, trying anything and everything I knew to try, as a 7 year old, to drop weight. As I got older, my efforts to trick the scale only got more serious. Even now, I have major OCD behaviors around the scale - I weigh myself 3 times and take the average. I won't brush my teeth before I check my weight because there might be extra water in my mouth afterwards. The scale has to be a specific number of inches from the wall. While my obsessive behaviors might not be physically dangerous anymore, they are emotionally dangerous and mentally manipulative. This relationship with the scale threatens my long term weight loss success.

I have been off detox following Low-GI guidelines for 4 full days now. I've exercised every single day. I feel great. My clothes fit looser. My face looks thinner. I have more energy. People are noticing a difference. This morning, excited about the difference I am seeing and feeling, I decided to check my weight - even though I know I shouldn't. Scale says: You suck. You're fat. You're ugly. You're failing. You can't do this. Stop trying. It's not working. You've gained 4.5 lbs.

That feeling I woke up with of feeling great - feeling smaller - clothes fitting better - was instantly stolen by my ugly silver friend that taunts me in the corner of my bathroom - the perfect 6.5 inches from the wall. What the scale also told me, that I ignored, is that my body fat % was down a full 1% and my body water percentage was up 1.5%. But I chose to ignore that. My scale redeemed itself and told me: Hey! Great job! You've lost fat but you've put a little of that water on after detox. When you added back in peanut butter, cheese and some grains, we are holding on to a little bit of that 12.5 lbs of water that you lost during detox but you're still losing fat! That's why your jeans feel better! Keep it up.

Unfortunately, all I see is the pounds. And I'm devastated. I drive to work feeling like a failure. Feeling like my effort is worth nothing. Feeling like I have to write a blog that says I've failed. So I text my dear friend and coach Lydia - it goes a little something like this:

• E: Panicking! Gained weight! But body fat down. So upset!
• L: You need to be checking inches, not weight. Your body is adjusting after detox
• E: Yeah, but I have to blog about this!
• L: Great! Blog about how you're feeling - the scale is deceiving. Step away from the scale!
• E: I'm afraid

I've created a monster - in myself. A monster that can't feel successful without the numbers on the scale behind me. And I'm gonna kill that f*cking monster. It won't happen in a day, a week or a month, but I'm gonna do it. So these weekly weigh ins I do here are going to be more about measurements, about body fat, about the way I feel and the way my clothes are fitting and less about the numbers on the scale. I have to break this unhealthy cycle. I wish I could tell you that I'm going to greet my scale with a sledgehammer when I get home tonight, but I'm not there yet :)

Temptation

I'm back from the potluck. Aside from my veggie tray, there was wine, frozen drinks, fried chicken, biscuits, macaroni and cheese, sandwiches, a lasagna-looking thing, cake, pie and more. Luckily, there was some pork that wasn't covered in BBQ sauce so I had my veggies and some pork and some hummus. I also took the turkey and cheese off a sandwich and had that too. I would have loved to have had a biscuit and some cake. But, I just kept reminding myself that the path to a better me is paved with good decisions and that isn't something I can put off until tomorrow.

I haven't been good about getting enough sleep this week so I came home determined to get to bed early. But, part of my success depends on planning ahead so I need to make tomorrow's breakfast tonight (another vegetable fritatta so I can just reheat it in the AM) and get tomorrow's lunch together, as well as getting everything together so I can throw tomorrow's dinner in the crockpot tomorrow morning before I run out the door to work. And blog. Then sleep :)

So - nothing wise or deep tonight - just a day of working hard to stay on track and stay on top of things. If I'm not prepared, its a lot harder to stay on point. I am looking forward to checking my weight this week! But I'm thinking about changing my blog weigh-ins from Friday to Saturday. Not sure yet but I'll let ya know.

Potlucks Are From the Devil

Hey guys! I wanted to check in and get some encouragement (by writing) before I go to a potluck for my Bible Study group. Potlucks are major trouble when you are trying to eat healthy. But, I don't want to close myself off from my friends, so I'm going. I'm bringing a veggie tray. But that's my dinner! So I know I'm going to be hungry and tempted to eat, but I won't. I should have brought a protein bar today. That was stupid. Ugh.

Groceries stores and potlucks are dangerous right now. And I have to go to both - right now.

I'll write more later!

Don't Get Too Comfortable

I had my menu all planned out for the week but sometimes things don't go as expected. My husband and I ended up going out to dinner tonight - and I was nervous. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to find a suitable option on the menu. I was nervous that I wasn't going to be able to resist the temptation to eat off my husband's plate or order a delicious appetizer.

And I'm not gonna lie. Once I got into that restaurant and started looking at that menu, I started thinking about the fried calamari, the french fries, the mashed potatoes. Wondering how much it would hurt - just once - I've been good all day....what's a cup of mashed potatoes? I started thinking about how many days of clean eating I have ahead before I check my weight and wondering if it would make an impact to cheat a little. All those old thoughts and habits started pouring through my head. What's one glass of wine?  I just can't get too comfortable. If I start to feel like I have this all figured out, I'll quickly get overtaken by those old, die-hard habits. If I start to rationalize and use the "this one little thing won't matter" mindset - I will fail.

But, I'm changing my life. I do that by one good decision after another. (I can't say that much for my sweet husband, who I adore, who got steak, french fries and a side of mashed potatoes!) I ordered pan seared scallops with broccoli rabe and asked that they keep the mashed potatoes in the kitchen. And I didn't feel cheated. Not at all. I didn't feel like it was a sacrifice.

After a good meal, I was tempted to go home and head to bed early (especially since I was up way too late last night) but instead I got in a really tough high-intensity interval workout. Now I feel like I've had my butt whipped and I hardly had the energy to write this blog tonight!

Love to you guys! I'm really glad to have people interested in my journey!

Skill Building

When I think about transformation, I don't initially think about transforming my body. I really don't. I mean, don't get me wrong - losing weight is a huge part of this - but this has been a lifelong struggle for me so I'm equally, if not more, excited about the mental and emotional transformation that I am creating.

Food is my drug of choice. (Hi, I'm Elizabeth and I'm a foodaholic). I am an emotional eater. I treat my stress, anxiety, happiness, sadness, anger, etc with food. I soothe myself by giving in to my cravings. It's my way of saying "Ok, breathe. Everything is going to be OK. Wind down - take control". That is the message that food sends to my brain. And you know, breaking that addiction - the addiction to that calming effect of food - I think, is harder in a lot of ways than any other addiction. You can't just walk away from food. You can't quit eating. You have to make food decisions dozens of times a day. You can't say "I'm not going to hang around with those awful people who eat cake anymore".  It's everywhere. And you need it. So you have to create a new relationship with food. A relationship in which I am in control A relationship where food is primarily a tool, not a crutch. Now, I'm not saying that I never want to feel joy in regards to food - food is emotional. It always will be. I'll always enjoy cake. But it can't control me. I must be in control. I am trying to do that by being aware of my emotions when I eat. And talking about it. Here.

I also need to work on enjoying healthy foods. Healthy food doesn't have to be boring or bland. My primary issue here is that for me to feel in control - for me to be sure that what I am eating is healthy - I need to be the one preparing it. And you know what? I'm a TERRIBLE cook. But, I really believe that as long as you can read, you can cook. So, what I'm working on is identifying the types of food I really look forward to eating and figuring out how to cook it in a healthy way. For example, I love Greek food. So yesterday, I marinated some chicken in chicken broth and a variety of spices and baked it. Then I made some tzatziki sauce from scratch (cucumbers, FF yogurt, LF sour cream, lemon juice). It was mediocre. But now I'll try a different recipe. I'll become a good cook. I'll find great mexican recipes, great Japanese recipes. I'll be one of those people who would rather eat at home than eat out because I'm just that good.

So - do you have any great, low GI recipes you love? Share them with me! And if I knock one out of the park, I'll share it with you!

Happy eating!

An Object in Motion

I love Newton. Especially Newton's 1st law of motion:  "An object in motion will stay in motion and an object at rest will stay at rest (unless acted upon by another object)".

To some, this probably seems like an obvious concept - but it is so fundamental to live - even beyond physics.

When you are in a rut - not working out, not eating healthy, not taking care of yourself, not caring for your finances - whatever it is - the longer you are in the rut, the longer you will stay. An object at rest will stay at rest.

On the other hand - if you are actively making good decisions - if you are intentional about doing what needs to be done - you will be more likely to keep doing so. An object in motion will stay in motion.

If the overall trajectory of your life is progress - it is a lot more difficult to go backwards than if you are just stagnant. Are you stagnant? Or are you making progress? I ask myself each morning - "What am I going to do today to make progress towards my goal?". If I am not intentional about asking and answering that question, I WILL become stagnant. I WILL lose ground. On the other hand, if I continuously push myself, achieve new goals, conquer obstacles, I will stay in forward motion.

For me, that looks like preparing my food the night before. It means making sure I have plenty of healthy choices in the house. It means working out when I'd rather take a nap or watch TV. It means reading my Bible. It means reaching out to friends even when I don't have the energy. It means making time for my husband when I'd rather have some alone time. Everyday.

I'm in motion. Are you?

The Next Leg

Hey guys! So my detox is over, thank goodness!  Don't get me wrong - it was great. I feel good, have lots of energy - but man, it is NICE to eat hot food again! The official weight loss numbers post detox: down 12.5 lbs and 0.5% body fat. I'm very happy with that. I almost fell in to the discouragement trap this morning when I realized that I didn't lose any weight on the last day of detox, but I had to remind myself of the incredible accomplishment of 12.5 lbs in 7 days. And really, I shouldn't be weighing myself everyday anyways so if I hadn't, I wouldn't have known that the last day was a stalemate and would have been thrilled with 12.5 lbs.

Now I'm on to the next leg of this marathon - low glycemic eating.

This morning I jumped out of bed so excited to cook breakfast! And it was good! I made a delicious veggie fritatta and some turkey bacon. The fritatta is so easy and so delicious - and really healthy too! I basically saute my fave veggies (this morning it was spinach and tomatoes) and then puree 1/2 cup of egg beaters, 1/2 cup FF cottage cheese and 1/4 cup FF evaporated milk and then pour the mixture over my veggies in a saute pan. I cook it on low for about 10 minutes and then pop it in the oven (low broil) for 5 minutes or until it rises. Major deliciousness. I usually eat a third of it and then heat up leftovers for the next few mornings.

We went to church and then after church went to a steakhouse and I had 6 oz steak, steamed broccoli and a house salad. It is great to eat again!

I'm off to a training - check in with y'all later! Hope its a great day! The weather here is gorgeous!

What A Difference A Week Makes

Hey y'all! Hope you're having a great weekend. This is officially the last day of my detox! Only a couple more hours and I can eat cooked food and expand beyond veggies! Hurray!

Do me a favor and ask yourself a question - How different would I feel if I got all of the toxins, sugar, artificial everything out of my body? Let me tell you - the difference is MAJOR. I have had more energy in the past two days than I can ever remember having. Seriously. I feel GREAT. My mood is improved, my energy level is high, I'm productive, my skin looks great and I'm not the least bit hungry. I had to remind myself to eat today.

Let's rewind a week and compare today to last Saturday - the day before I started the detox. Last Saturday I woke up around 8:30AM, got showered and dressed, went and got my haircut. Around noon I stopped and got my first meal of the day - chicken nachos and a diet pepsi (I was enjoying food knowing my detox was about to start). After I ate my nachos I drove home and had a bowl of chocolate peanut butter ice cream and then took a 3 hour nap. I woke up and watched an hour or two of TV and then headed out to dinner. Chips and queso, chicken chimichanga and a jumbo margarita. Then we stopped off and got some ice cream at Cold Stone. Drove home and watched more TV and then had a bowl of popcorn before going to bed. (Don't judge...)

Today - I woke up at 7 full of energy. Really wanted to sleep later than that but I couldn't. Not tired anymore. Played outside with the pup (Oakley) for about 45 minutes. Came in and had my warm lemon water and a banana. Got caught up on twitter. Vacuumed all the floors in the house. Steam cleaned the hardwoods. Did 6 loads of laundry. Washed all the shelves in the fridge. Wrote out menu for next week. Cleaned all the bathrooms. Colored my hair. Went grocery shopping. Cleaned my car. Paid the bills. Wrote a blog. Prepped food for lunch tomorrow. Snacked on some carrots and broccoli. Organized my closet. Watched the KU game (Go Jayhawks! Big 12 Champs!). 

What a difference a week makes! It's now 9:25 and I'm still full of energy - ready to roll. There is NO QUESTION that this detox completely rejuvenates you from the inside out. I'm so glad I was able to stick with it!

So ready for the next phase which starts tomorrow! Obviously the weight loss will be MUCH slower than what I've had on detox, but any weight loss is great weight loss so I'm not going to expect big numbers each week. Slow and steady, right?

Tension Relieving or Goal Achieving?

There is a quote that has been on my mind over the past week: "Failures do what is tension relieving while winners do what is goal achieving." In most areas of my life I abide more by the "winner" mindset but with my health, for some reason, I've walked the path of the "failure" more often than not.

One of the areas of my life in which I am intensely disciplined is my finances. Right after we were married, we started The Dave Ramsey Plan. If you're not familiar with Dave Ramsey, he is a Christian financial guru who helps people achieve financial success regardless of their income. A big part of that is paying off debt. My husband and I came into our marriage with a pretty hefty amount of student loans. But, with intense discipline, we are making incredible progress everyday. While it might be "tension relieving" go on a vacation or go out for expensive dinners, we live frugally so we can put the majority of our salaries towards our student loans. We do what is goal achieving.

But if I'm looking candidly at my life, I have to confess that when it comes to my health, my diet, my fitness, I generally do what, for me, is "tension relieving". After a hard day at work I'm more likely to get Mexican carryout than cook a healthy meal. I'll have a big bowl of ice cream. I'll spend my evening watching TV instead of going to the gym. In the moment, those things are tension relieving for me.

Over the next several months, its going to be essential for me to replace those "tension relieving" habits with "goal achieving" activities. Having a meal plan at the start of the week and prepping for dinner the night before so that I don't make excuses about cooking after a long day. Working out before work so working late or being tired isn't an obstacle in the evenings. Taking the dog for a walk after dinner instead of sitting down with a bowl of ice cream. I have to be very aware of those ingrained habits that I find "tension relieving" and be intentional about replacing them with something else. Over time, those things that I force myself to do will become my new normal and, I hope, will become "tension relieving" to me over time.

Anyways, that's the plan. And have I said how crazy excited I am to eat hot food tomorrow? I made a killer veggie frittata that will be breakfast in the AM and I'm hoping for a steak and a salad for dinner. Yummmm. Is it Sunday yet?

(Are you following me on twitter? You should be!)

First Weigh in!

So I know I told you guys I'd be weighing in every Friday so I want to be sure to do that. My disclaimer today, however, is that I'm not yet done with my detox. So this weigh in only reflect the first 5 days of detox. I still have 2 full days to go. But, we'll take that into account in next weeks weigh in. Also, please note that this weigh in isn't after a full week of efforts - only 5 days. With that said, weight lost in first 5 days is (drum roll please)....

11.8 pounds!

I'm pretty stoked about that. Do I expect that every week? Hell no! Is a lot of that water? Of course. But I'm reminding myself of a few things:

1. What a heck of a jump start!
2. The discipline and effort of detox is so worth it!
3. The water weight I lost was EXTRA water I was retaining because I am still very well hydrated. Who wants to be retaining water??

I'll share my overall detox results on Sunday and weigh in again next Friday.

Love you guys! Thanks for following! (And please follow me on twitter: bentonek)

60 Seconds Inside Elizabeth's House

So our local radio station here in the K'ville/GSO/WS area occasionally does this thing they call "60 seconds inside a woman's head". I love it because its just a random stream of thoughts that I can totally relate to as my head is often a pinball machine of random, unrelated thoughts. This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I had one of those moments and thought I'd share it with you.

The backstory: I've only been married for....actually its a year and 5 months today. I love my husband - we are a perfect match. BUT - there is one thing he does that drives me BANANAS. He chews tobacco. Now let me say, he never does it in front of me. I've never even seen a can of dip in his possession. I guess he only does it at work. I didn't even know he was a chewer until about a month before we got married. I try really hard not to bug him about quitting, but he knows that I hate it.

Ok, so this morning, I'm getting ready for work and watching the news about the huge quake in Japan and the impending tsunamis in Hawaii and CA.

Me (thought): I'm gonna wake Aaron up a few minutes early and tell him about this quake. I wonder if he knows anyone in LA. Do I know anyone in LA? Does Charlie Sheen live in LA? I bet he's sleeping. I wonder if dogs can feel earthquakes from really far away? What shoes am I wearing today? Aaron won't be mad if I wake him to tell him about the quake. He'll want to know.
Me (spoken): Babe? Aaron.
Aaron: Morning.
Me: Your grinding your teeth again. Your teeth are going to fall out of your head. Back ones from grinding and front ones from dippin'. Get it together.
Aaron: Love you. Have a good day.

I won't call that an average morning in our house, but that sums up my personality pretty nicely.

On more important matters: I'm stoked to be on Day 6 of detox! So far, so great! Can't wait to tell you guys how much weight I've lost. I feel really good. Strong. And good.

Why Detox?

I've been getting a lot of questions and comments about my detox. Things like:

• That seems unhealthy
• Aren't you hungry?
• What's the point?
• Are you cheating at night?
• I could never do that
• You're gonna eat that WHOLE bag of veggies?!

Here's the scoop - This 7 day detox is just that, its a detox. And its for 7 days. Not a month, not a lifetime, not what I'm going to do to lose all the weight I need to lose.

There are a lot of great reasons to do a detox - but here are mine: It helps to cleanse my palate and reduce my cravings. I'm a junk food junky and I don't generally crave veggies - I generally crave cookies. Or cheetos. But, after the detox, I've got all the artificial sweeteners out of my system - all the non-nutritive junk that abounds in "non-foods" and I virtually eliminate my cravings for those things after 7 days of detox. That's just me.

On top of that, for me, its about discipline. Proving to myself that I can do something that just isn't all that easy. Drawing a definitive "line in the sand" between the way things were and the way things are.

And, its a really awesome jump start to my weight loss. I am having great success with this detox and I can't wait to share how much weight I've lost over the course of my 7 days. (Yes, I have been weighing myself daily. Yes, I know that's very bad and I don't recommend it. But I have weird issues with that. I'll stop doing it after detox, I promise. Well, I promise I'll try).

And for everyone who thinks there is no way they could just eat raw fruits and veggies for 7 days - yes you can. If I can, anyone can. Really, anyone. The first day is about sheer willpower. Making the decision to do it and not quitting. The second day is about managing your hunger. Making sure you are eating PLENTY of veggies and drinking a lot of water. After that, it gets easier. I have noticed that I'm sleeping better, I have more energy, my skin is clearer and my clothes fit better. And for crying out loud - its 7 days not 7 years.

No, I'm not cheating at night (or in the morning or the afternoon for that matter). I'm not really that hungry anymore. Sure, its not easy to watch other people eat. It's not easy to smell delicious things you want to eat (for some reason the break room at work today smells like bacon and its heavenly). But, what would life look like if we only did what was easy? Not a life I'd want to live, personally.

So there ya have it. And I only have 2.5 days left of detox. Woohoo!!

Maintaining Motivation

I'm motivated today. I've been motivated for the last week or so. That motivation is what helps me pass by the donuts in the office and avoid snacking out the pantry at night. It helped me stay focused today in the grocery store when I went for vegetables (and cheese for my hubby) and was tempted by sushi, pita chips and cookie dough.

But I imagine there will be a day soon when I don't feel so motivated. And I'm really trying to formulate a plan for overcoming temptation when I'm not feeling so motivated. 'Cause that's what makes me nervous. That's where I've gone wrong before. Giving in to one temptation leads to another, which leads to another.... A bad meal turns into a bad day which turns into a bad week, month. In the past, I've really lacked the ability to (with any consistency) allow myself a "treat" and then get right back on track. I think maybe it has to do with the guilt that I pile on myself when I eat something I crave. I instantly feel like I've "failed" and then immediately develop an attitude of "Oh well, I screwed up so the whole day is shot". My general attitude is all or nothing. I'm full steam ahead with 200% effort or I'm just not moving at all.

There are a couple things I'm determined to do differently this time around:

• When I have those occassional sweats or treats, I'm not going to hide it. I usually try to hide it or sneak it. I don't want anyone to see me eating anything unhealthy. I'm going to have occasional treats and I'm going to talk about it.
• I'm going to focus on progress and not perfection. In past attempts to lose weight, I would gauge my success by how many perfect days I could have in a row. But then when I would indulge in something, I was immediately a failure. I need to give up that notion of perfection because it just doesn't exist. It's not a reality for me. I just need to be making more good choices than bad choices. That's it.

Phone rang. Lost train of thought. Tired now. More tomorrow. 

The Only Obstacle

If you're following me on twitter (which you should be: bentonek) you know that I had a revelation of sorts last night. I was sitting on the couch with my bottle of water and bowl of carrots while my husband cooked himself spaghetti and meatballs and I realized: I am my only obstacle. That's right - so all the former failed diets? Me. All the weight lost and gained? Me. The weeks that went by without going to the gym? Me. Growing out of my not-so-fat jeans? Me. The only thing that stands in the way of me reaching my goal weight? Me.

And you know what? That's great news. Because I'm on "Team Elizabeth" now. I've been fighting against myself. Sabotaging myself. For like, 20 years. The only person who has any influence on my success? ME.

There is an internal battle that I've been fighting against myself for a really, really long time. And I'm not going to pretend that I have it all figured out - I don't - I don't know why I've been battling. But I know that I'm the one in control of this weight loss journey. I'm the one who can make my body and my mind stronger. I am training myself. I am training myself one small decision at a time.

I read yesterday that your health is your most important wealth. So true! How crazy I've been to put more focus on my financial wealth than the wealth that comes from my  health! But I'm transforming. One small, good decision at a time.

Eye on the Prize

I made a major miscalculation today. I finished all my veggies by 11:30am. So now I'm stuck STARVING until I get home from work around 6pm or so. Water not helping. Desperate. For. Carrots.

Other than being starving, its been an interesting day. I've had a couple of long (2 hrs each) meetings with 15-20 people in each. In the first meeting, I toted in my gallon freezer bag of fresh veggies and munched away throughout the meeting. Of course most people don't eat during meetings but I knew I couldn't survive 2 hours without my veggies. I got a number of strange looks.

In my second meeting, I had no vegetables left. I looked rough and felt like garbage. Not tired, just really starving. Stomach grumbling audibly. There were a number of my colleagues in my meeting who know that I'm detoxing and they had questions. "Can't you have dip with your veggies?" No. "Can you have nuts?" No. "Chicken?" No. Ready - here's the deal: raw vegetables - PLAIN. A couple servings of fruit. Water. That's it. 7 days.

Even though I'm really hungry right now (my own fault - poor planning) I'm reminding myself of a couple of key things:

• You become what you think about all day long. 
• Focus on potential, not problems
• When I'm feeling frustrated, God is at work to produce patience in me

I have to stay focused on the positive. I have to remind myself to focus on where I'm going not where I am. I have to focus on why I'm making this change and what it means to me. This is going to be a process. A long process. And what happens along the journey is just as important as what happens when I get there. Maybe even more so. It's about much more than food and much more than weight. It's really a transformation from the inside out.

What's Different?

For all of you who know me personally, please accept my apologies for my excessive bitchiness over the next few days. If I offend you, just remind yourself that I'm hungry. Really hungry. And in a constant state of deprivation!

Anyways, we are more than halfway through detox day 2. I'm still alive, as is everyone around me, so we'll call that winning. I was sitting in my boss's office today munching on carrots, tomatoes and green peppers and I told her that I keep asking myself how I know this will be different than every other time. How will this be different than when I had a nutritionist as a kit? Or when I was in weight watchers as a teenager? Or did Body For Life in college? Or Southbeach in my early 20s? Or the hcg diet before I got married? Don't get me wrong - I lost weight on most of those. But I wasn't ever able to keep it off and I certainly never achieved my goal weight.

It's so puzzling to me because I am such an overachiever in every other area of my life. I achieve my professional goals and constantly work towards new ones. I achieve my financial goals and set the bar higher. I achieved my academic goals. I've achieved other personal goals. But while health has always seemed like my highest priority, I've never been able to achieve my weight loss goals.

Something I read in my good friend Michelle's new blog (check it out here) really struck a cord with me. She asks "If you did nothing else this year what is the ONE thing you would like to accomplish?". For me, that would be reaching and maintaining my goal weight. I know I'll look better and feel better emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. But, really, am I living day-to-day like that is the one goal I want to achieve? How much of my daily energy and efforts go towards that goal? Historically, I would say very little. Historically, most of my energy goes into other things and other people: my job, my marriage, my house, my finances. And while none of those are bad things, if I really want to walk away from 2011 having achieved my goal weight in a healthy, sustainable way, then that is where my energy needs to be.

So what does that look like? Following through on this commitment to myself. Making this my top priority. I don't skip work because I'm too tired so why would I skip a workout for that reason? I don't skip a shower because I'm too lazy so why would I neglect my meal planning or healthy cooking for that reason? Over the past 27+ years I have conditioned myself to think that some things are negotiable: exercise, sleep, healthy eating. Well, in order for me to walk away from 2011 at a healthy weight, I need to decide that those are no longer negotiables. They are constants. They are requirements.

So....that's what's different. What's different for you?

(PS - Please follow me on twitter: bentonek)

Distraction + Determination = Survival

I'm so glad day 1 of detox is almost over! The key to getting through today has been all about distractions. I took a 3 hour nap just to have a few hours without having to think about food. Go figure I had a dream about cupcakes. Seriously.

Luckily, I'm not hungry - I just want to eat. I mean, come on, food is GOOD. I'm already planning what I'm gonna eat next Sunday when I can expand my selections beyond raw veggies. I'm thinking a steak. Gah! That sounds good!

Overall though, the day has been a success. Tomorrow should be a lot easier since I'll be at work so I really won't think about work until after 6pm or so. I'm all prepped and ready to go with my freezer bag of veggies to munch on throughout the day.

Here's to Day 2 being easier than Day 1!

The First Step is the Hardest

It's Day 1 of my Transitions 12 week journey which means Day 1 of detox. Nothin' but raw fruits and veggies for the next 7 days. The first few days are the hardest. And for me, nothing is harder than day 1. When I was sitting in church this morning I forgot for a second that I was detoxing and was thinking about what I wanted for lunch. Just when a Turkey Bacon Bravo from Panera popped in to my head I remembered that my choices were limited to celery, cucumbers, tomato and the like. But, every great change begins with the first step and if the first step was easy, everyone would be great, right?

I'll check in later...

Detox shopping

I just got back from detox shopping - my fridge is PACKED with all my favorite veggies! Green peppers, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, broccoli and celery! I had to clean out the fridge so that everything would fit! As I was shopping I kept thinking how expensive it is to buy all these fresh veggies but then I realized that I won't be going out to eat for lunch or buying 3 or 4 diet pepsi's each day. On an average week of typical unhealthy eating I'd probably go out for lunch an average of three times, out to dinner about twice and spend $15-20/week on average snacks or sodas. So really, even though I'm spending more at the grocery store, I'm spending a good bit less overall.

My plan of attack for detox days is simple - every morning when I wake up I'll have some warm lemon water followed by either an apple or an orange. Then I fill up a big freezer bag with chopped veggies and bring that with me to work. That way, I can graze throughout the day as I feel hungry (or bored) and I don't feel pressure to figure out what to do about "traditional meals" of fresh vegetables.

My other secret weapon is Transitions ACTS (it's a dietary supplement that helps to reduce stress and enhance mood and keeps your stress hormones and adrenals in check). Like I've said before, I'm a MAJOR emotional eater so anything I can do to help take the edge off is critical in keeping me on track. It's freakin' amazing. Can't live without it. 

Anyways - tomorrow is day 1. And I'm pretty excited because I got a major haircut today and I swear I lost at least 3 lbs of extra weight after it was all through!

'Til tomorrow! (And don't forget to follow me on Twitter!! My handle is bentonek)

Gearing Up!

Happy Friday everybody!! Only 1 more day until I start my 12 week challenge!

Tomorrow is a really important day. Tomorrow is my prep day. I'm headed to the grocery to get all my fruits and veggies for my detox. I'm cleaning my house from top to bottom (I don't know about you, but I'm so much more productive and focused when my house is sparkling clean). I'm doing all my laundry (organized closet = happy woman). I might even buy some new workout clothes (who doesn't feel more motivated to workout when they have a cute new outfit?) And I'm totally getting some ice cream. Yup. Ice cream. That's my vice so I'm going to enjoy it before my detox starts on Sunday. Annnnnnd I need to check my weight and take my measurements. Establish my new starting point.

This is going to be a really fun, rewarding and exciting journey. Glad you're taking it with me.

Nervous excitement

Last night I was sharing with my mom what I was planning to do with this blog and on twitter. I was explaining to her that I'm really nervous about making my weight loss journey so public. She once again proved to me why I value her input so much. She told me that if I'm gonna do this, I can't even consider failure as an option. (Shout out: You're the best, Mom!!) No guts, no glory, right?
She's so right. Really. So, with nervous excitement, we are forging ahead.

Sunday 3/6/11 is day 1 of my 12 week challenge.

Now, if you've know me a while, you know that I've been working to lose weight for quite some time. And I've been successful to a degree. I'm about 31 lbs lower than my highest weight but I've struggled to lose more than that. I lose it, then put it back on, and repeat. And really, that's only because I lose focus and motivation and let "life" get in the way. So another 12-week challenge is in my future.

For the first 7 days I'm going to detox. That means nothing but raw fruits and veggies for 7 days. No diet soda. No chocolate. No salt. Raw fruits and vegetables. But as Coach Lydia says - you can do anything for 7 days. I've done it before, but it aint easy. The great thing about it, though, is that it really reconditions your palate. I'm a junk food junkie and for me, the detox is really the best way to eliminate my cravings. After the first few days (which SUCK) I actually start to look forward to the natural, clean flavors of fruits and vegetables. (Remind me of that on day 3 when I'm following the Hostess Cupcake truck down the highway).

And every Friday, post-weigh-in, I'll share my results. I promise. Girlscout's honor. 

I'm so excited to have support from cyber space. And if you just are reading to heckle me, that's fine too. I have tiger blood! Haha. Winning!!

**Follow me on Twitter: bentonek

Who Am I?

Alright - so you know what I'm doing. And I think I know what I'm doing. I want you to get to know me. Here's the quick and dirty:

• Name: Elizabeth
• Age: 27
• Marital Status: Married 
• Occupation: Product Manager

What else....I live in North Carolina and I have a pretty demanding job. I work a lot. I've been married for about a year and a half and we don't have kids yet. We have a 1 yr old German Shepard named Oakley and he's totally awesome. I've been overweight my whole life. Everyone in my family is skinny (which totally sucks). I love food. I'm an emotional eater. After a bad day you can find me at home with a bottle of diet pepsi and huge bowl of ice cream. After a good day you can find me at a Mexican joint with some chips, queso and a margarita. (Don't hate - I'm being honest).

I'm an open book. As we go along, ask me questions. Let's do this.

**Follow me on twitter: bentonek

What am I doing?

That's the question I am asking myself. Really. Here are the facts:

1. I need to lose weight (about 90 lbs).
2. I've been trying for years and years
3. I want to lose weight
4. I work for a company that has an amazing weight management program
5. I need to be held accountable
6. I'm starting on Sunday

Why am I blogging about it? Well - my primary goal is selfish: it will help me to stay on track by being accountable to my "readers". But realistically, I want to help people. I want to inspire people. I want to inspire myself.

So - what's the plan? I'm not really sure yet. I know that I am starting on Sunday. I will weigh in each Friday and share with progress with you guys. I know that I'm going to follow a low glycemic eating plan and that I'm going to aim to exercise at least 5 days each week.

And you know what else? You should join me. Why not? The more the merrier. This is gonna be the real deal. I'll share my successes and my failures. My good days and my terrible days. My weight loss and my weight gain. Allllll of it. I'm just gonna share my life and my journey. Stick around. It'll be fun.