Happy Saturday - guys! It's dreary and rainy here but I'm having a great day! I think I had a bit of a breakthrough today.
I headed to the gym this afternoon for my running workout. If you've read my goals for the next 30 days, you know that I'm working up to being able to run for 30 minutes. At this point, I do walking/running intervals and the running intervals are getting longer while the walking intervals get shorter.
The reason that I made this one of my goals is that I've always tried to run (since I started on the X-Country team in the 5th grade) and I've always failed. My sister Debi was the #1 runner on our middle school X-Country team and I came in last (way, way, way last) every single race except for one (because I got lost and cut off 1/2 the course). Then I had a boyfriend several years ago who was a big runner and he got me to agree to run the Philadelphia marathon with him - one of the worst experiences of my life! I've always accepted running as something I just can't do - so - I'm determined to conquer it.
Anyways - during today's workout I was extending my running intervals. Sometimes during my intervals I start to doubt myself. When I question whether or not I'll be able to make it the whole way, my doubt has physical consequences. My breathing starts to become hurried and stressed. I lose my rhythm. It just starts to feel so much harder. I usually give up at that point. I accept that some days just aren't great days and a mediocre workout is better than no workout at all.
Today, as I started to doubt whether or not I'd be able to get through these longer intervals, a loud, strong thought ran through my head - I AM IN CONTROL. "I am in control of this workout. I am in control of my strong body. I am in control of my strong lungs. I am in control of my strong legs - my strong core - my controlled breathing". I'm not going to say that the workout was effortless - it was crazy hard - but it was so much easier than when I doubt myself. My breathing was steady, my stride was long, my core was strong. It felt good.
As I was driving home from the gym I realized that believing that I am in control can make this entire journey easier. I am in control of my choices about food. I am in control of my attitude and my beliefs about myself.
This has been a tough few days but today was a very positive turning point. I am in control!
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