When Life Gets Hard

A lot is going on in my life right now and a lot of it isn't easy. My natural reaction is to turn to food for comfort and distraction. I don't know why that's my reaction, but it is. I'm hyper-aware of that now - but being aware doesn't make it any easier. When things are hard, there is a voice in my head that tells me I deserve to have that ice cream, that I need to not be so hard on myself, that it will make me feel better.

I completely realize that those are lies I tell myself. Because the fact is, what I deserve is to be healthy. What I deserve is to take care of myself. What I deserve is to be at a healthy weight. That will ultimately make me feel better - not diving in to a bowl of ice cream. So I really think that food isn't so much of a comfort as it is a distraction. For just a few minutes it takes me away from my problems or worries.  It makes me feel like I'm in control of something.

When its all said and done, giving in to those cravings only makes me feel worse. It makes me feel badly about myself, makes me feel less empowered, less in control, less hopeful.

But in the moment, that lying voice that tells me I deserve that ice cream is still louder than the voice that tells me I deserve to be healthy. And that's really frustrating.

Quick Check-In

Hey guys -
Just wanted to check in real quick and let you know that two mornings in a row (as promised) I've gotten up a full hour earlier and done my stretching and Bible reading/prayer. There has been a lot going on this week and I really think getting a good, positive start to the day has helped me to stay focused and in control. I'll write more later when things settle down a bit. Maybe tomorrow :-)

First Things First

I've told you before that I'm a list-maker. At work I live and die by my lists. I have a certain notebook that has my daily lists in it - it has to be this exact notebook. When its filled up, I file it away in my desk drawer. I keep all my work notebooks. If I lost it, I'd be so screwed. If they ever stop manufacturing this type of notebook, I'll cry.

At work, I always tackle the most important tasks first. That way I know that these things are most likely to get done. Sure, that means sometimes certain less important items never get done - they continuously get bumped for critical items. But that's OK. I'm not Wonderwoman. But I rarely let critical items fall through the cracks with this prioritized approach.

Today, as I was thinking about what I need to do tonight, I realized that I really should use the same approach at home. I'm not sure why I don't. I need to start my day with the most critical items. I currently just try to cram them in to the few hours after work before bed and oftentimes, they don't get done. I take a huge risk by leaving them for the end of the day. Sometimes I get stuck late at work or there is an unexpected obligation after work or hell, I just might be too tired! But, if I tackle the things that are most important to me first thing in the morning, no matter what the rest of the day brings, I can feel successful.

For me, that would be stretching, working out and praying/reading my Bible.  Of course, that means getting up earlier, which is a struggle for me, but I need to start being sure to go to bed earlier. So - hold me accountable - tomorrow I'm going to get up a full hour earlier. For real. Since my foot is still a mess, I'm going to do 30 minutes of intense stretching (Thanks Lydia - for showing me what I need to do - and for those of you doubting that stretching can be intense - you've obviously never been stretched by Lydia!!) and I'm going to do 30 minutes of reading/prayer/meditation. Seriously. No excuses.

What things in your day are most important to you?

Circuit with TRX Kicked My....

Let me start by saying that I'm really proud of myself. Seriously. Yesterday was a hard day for me. It was stressful and physically and emotionally exhausting. A day where I would be likely to "treat" myself to Mexican food and ice cream. But I didn't. Not only was my food totally on point (ok, lack of veggies but whatever - I'm still proud) - I got in a 60+ minute circuit workout.

Here's a little recap so you can be proud of me too :-)
Breakfast: Protein shake (made with water - total of 30g protein)
Morning snack: an apple with 3 tbsp peanut butter
Lunch: Protein shake (same as above)
Afternoon snack: 1/2 protein bar
Dinner: Grilled chicken salad with romaine lettuce and 1 cup veggie soup

A friend of mine, who is a personal trainer, invited me to workout with her last night. After the day I had, I really didn't want to go but I'm so glad I did. I was feeling kinda down so I can't say I gave 110% to the workout but it still was a heck of a workout. It was a bit over an hour of circuits (no rest) including spin bikes, TRX bands, kettlebells and lots of jumping! The TRX bands were a lot of fun - the upper body wasn't too bad but the lower body kicked my ass! After taking a week and a half off from the intense workouts because of my foot pain, it felt really good to wake up sore this morning!

Food and Faith

Up until now, I haven't really made too much of a connection between my relationship with food and my relationship with God. Sure, I realize that I was carefully created by God and part of loving God is caring for my body and maintaining my health, but I never thought of it much beyond that.

However, since reading "Made to Crave" I'm finding a much deeper connection and I'm so excited about it. Think about it - how did sin enter the world? FOOD. The apple. Satan tempted Eve with food. Eve turned away from God and turned to food. How did I miss that? Satan will tempt us anywhere we are weak - for me, most often that is food.

How about this one? Read this and tell me that there isn't a connection: "For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is their destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things." (Philippians 3:18-19)

Just some food for thought today.

Happy Easter!

Hey y'all! Happy Easter! So while I totally missed being around family this Easter, the upside is that it was probably the first Easter EVER that I didn't eat any candy! It was just a quiet day at home - church and then lunch with some awesome friends who didn't want us to be alone on Easter.

So, I guess an update is overdue, huh? As you guys know, I had been working really hard with my running workouts but unfortunately I got hurt. I don't really know what the problem is but bottom line is that I have a searing pain from my foot up through my knee that is pretty close to unbearable when I run. So, I took about a week off from my workouts and concentrated on stretching and flexibility. I'm not gonna lie - I'm super bummed. Running for 30 min by May 1st isn't going to happen.

Other than that, things are alright. I have a big doctor's appointment tomorrow (Monday) that I am stressing about so there was a little bit of emotional eating this weekend. But, tomorrow is a new day and I'm making progress every day. One of my good friends, who is a personal trainer, invited me out to her gym tomorrow night for a workout so I'm really looking forward to that. This same friend also recommended a book to me - you MUST read this if you are a woman struggling with weight! I haven't been able to put it down. It's called "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst. Totally amazing. It has personal reflection questions at the end of each chapter and I think they are awesome. I'll share one of them with you.

"One weightloss company personifies cravings as a little orange monster that chases us around, tempting us to eat unhealthy foods....If you could personify craving based on your experience of it, what form would it take?"

For me, my "cravings" look like me - a fat, tired, lazy me. Me as the victim. Reassuring yet sly - making me feel like I shouldn't have to "try" so hard. Telling me its OK to do what feels good. That I deserve it. It lures me in to this place of complacency - it knows that I put this tremendous pressure on myself to lose weight and it leverages that - telling me I'm fine just the way I am, even though I don't WANT to be this way. It's definitely not the me I want to be.

So - where do I go from there? Well, I guess identifying this voice in my head as destructive and manipulative is step 1. That will help me identify it more easily. And replacing those thoughts with positive, encouraging and empowering thoughts. And having people in my life who encourage me, build me up and most importantly, hold me accountable. (Still accepting applications for those people in my life!!)

On that note - Happy Easter. Hope you guys had a great day.

Why I Do the Grocery Shopping

Hi guys - sorry for the lack of consistent posts in the past week. I'll do better :)

This weekend was crazy busy. We barely had a moment to breathe. It was a great weekend, but it was crazy. In fact, it was so crazy that my husband had to do the grocery shopping. In my house, that's major. Aaron NEVER does the grocery shopping. Seriously, I think this was probably only the second or third time he's done it since we've been married.

It's almost more work to have him do the shopping than to do it myself. I know exactly what I want and while I do have a list, my list certainly wouldn't make sense to most people. I created my list and went over with him the items I thought would be tricky. For me, "cereal" works. I know exactly which cereal I'm talking about. I know it's the Fiber One Honey Clusters. For Aaron, I tell him Fiber One cereal and I tell him to look at the box in the pantry to see exactly what it looks like. Take a picture with your phone just in case! I tell him to get the 4 pack of Bumble Bee tuna (in a can) packed in water. Apples. What color apples? Red apples. What kind of red apple? Macintosh.

Somehow, the details here were lost in translation. Fiber One cereal came back as the original bran cereal. Dude, that stuff looks like rabbit food. Seriously. Have you seen it? It doesn't taste any better than it looks, either. Instead of Bumble Bee tuna he got Starkist. I HATE Starkist tuna. When I mentioned the tuna to him, he says "So throw it away". I am so not going to throw away $5 worth of tuna! I'm certainly not going to eat it either --- maybe the dog will eat it. I bet the dog doesn't like Starkist either. Yuck. And instead of Mac apples he got Cameos (but, they are red)!

I do have to give him some props though - he did come in $28 under budget. Can't complain there!

I'm Still Here!

Hi guys!
I took a little break from blogging over the weekend - very busy around here! Quick update on the relevant happenings of the past couple days:

• Found an amazing new protein shake (and I HATE all shakes) - more on that later
• Hurt my foot - will have to delay running goal. Major pain.
• Some less-than-perfect food choices at a dinner out with friends

I'll be posting a more detailed update tomorrow - promise.

Hope you guys had a great weekend!

Habits of Successful People

So I read today that most people who achieve long-term success in weight loss tend to have a few things in common: they keep a food journal, monitor their weight, never skip breakfast and get an hour of exercise each day.

While I don't think that's a perfect list - certainly not a comprehensive one - it's not that bad. One thing that I started doing this week is journaling everything I eat. I know I should have been doing that all along, but regardless, I'm doing it now. So far, I find it really helpful. It definitely helps to keep me accountable for those spoonfuls of peanut butter or handfuls of popcorn that I might tend to "forget". In addition to journaling food, I'm also noting water intake, exercise, supplements and sleep. Here's a peak at today's journal page.

Dinner and workout aren't on there yet because it's still early!

Anyways, after reading that list, I started thinking about what other elements would/should probably be included - at least for me:

• Having an accountability partner. Someone (or a group of people - say a public blog for the whole world to see?) who knows what you're trying to do and encourages you, while also holding you accountable.
• Setting goals: Everyone has heard the saying "You can't hit a target you can't see", right? I like to know where I'm headed. It helps me to stay focused when I know exactly what I'm trying to achieve and what my goals are. My goals have to be very specific and measurable so I can easily tell if I'm making progress.
• A meal plan: If I fail to prepare, I'm prepared to fail. I have to be diligent about packing my food at night. If I'm stuck without healthy choices I will eat anything if I get hungry enough. Each evening I get everything I need ready for all of my meals for the next day. Sometimes I really don't feel like it - I just want to relax and go to bed - but I force myself to do it. I also try to always keep a protein bar in my purse just in case I get stuck in a meeting or have to run errands after work.  

Those are just a few of my thoughts for the moment. Do you have any "must-do" tips for success?

Winning the Battle with the Scale

t's really remarkable how making positive changes in your life really changes your overall outlook. Eating healthy foods, exercising regularly and focusing on positive self talk REALLY changes the way you look at your life. At least it really does for me. Seriously. It's kinda crazy.

So - true confession time - despite my post about the dangers of weighing myself daily, up until a week and a half ago, I was weighing myself everyday. But, since then, I haven't weighed myself at all. Not once. Initially, I told myself I was only going to go a week without it. Then I made it a week and felt good about it so I decided to go another week. I was initially really afraid that NOT weighing myself daily would cause me to cheat, slack on exercise, etc because I wouldn't have that daily accountability of facing the numbers on the scale. That's the way its been in the past. I have to say that this time, something is different. I don't really know what it is but its definitely different. My focus is totally not on the numbers anymore. I am 100% confident in what I'm doing and I know that I'm going to lose weight. I don't need to obsess over the numbers. I don't think I'm losing 4-5 lbs each week but I'm probably losing a pound or two. And that's awesome. My new perspective is essentially this: I'm changing my life. For the first time ever, I don't feel like I'm on a diet. I'm just making good choices. I'm eating low glycemic foods probably 90% of the time. I'm exercising regularly. I'm taking my supplements. I'm going to lose weight. But its not a race.

I'm even thinking that I might not weigh myself until May 1st. So crazy. I'm just going to continue to make good eating choices - focusing on my short term goals - pushing myself in my workouts - and most importantly, believing in myself. And it's all going to be good.

Another Day of Running

Hey y'all. So I took the day off from work today - which was awesome. I needed a day of "rest" ---which was really only rest from work since I had a very busy and productive Monday.

I went to the gym around 10AM and this was my hardest running workout yet (each one gets harder than the last, so I guess I can say that with each post). It was a lot harder than Saturday's workout. I think part of it was that I didn't have the right pre-workout food. I had some Fiber One cereal (about a half cup, no milk) and an apple with peanut butter. I'm thinking that was way too heavy for pre-workout. I felt like I was dying through pretty much the entire thing. There were many, many moments where I seriously thought I had no choice but to quit. I continued the positive self-talk through my workout "I am in control" etc but my body was fighting against me the whole time.

The good news is - I didn't quit. The bad news is - I threw up all over myself on the way back to my car. Niiiice. Fortunately I was headed home to shower before meeting some friends for lunch. I was so proud of myself for powering through when I really didn't feel like I could. My legs felt like they were cinderblocks and I felt tired before I even got started. Like I said the other day though - I know there will be good days and bad days - days when I feel strong and days when I feel weak - but the bottom line is that I keep going.

Oh - I did find a "protein" bar that has become a little too addictive. I don't think I can buy more than one at a time because they are like my candy bar. It's the Balance Bar Gold chocolate mint cookie or something. I swear, it tastes like Thin Mints. My girlfriend Michelle turned me on to them, and I'm not sure if I should love her or hate her for it! I mean, I guess its better than a handful of cookies - but its not a true protein bar either. 40% carbs, 30% protein, 30% fat. They are INSANELY good! If you try them - watch out - you might not be able to stop!

Have a great Monday, guys!

New Favorite Foods

I love salads at Ameri-Mexican places like Moes, Qdoba or Chipotle. There is something about the crunchy-cheesy-salty that I love in all foods - but when its dressed like a salad, it just "feels" healthier. Of course I know that salads at these places can be packed with sodium, fat and calories. So, in my attempt to create new favorites, I replicated one of these salads tonight.

Romaine lettuce, grilled chicken, 1/8 cup of black beans, diced tomatoes, onions and cilantro, low fat cheese and 2 tablespoons of mashed avocado. Yum!!!

I Am Selfish

I am selfish. And that's OK. In order for me to succeed in getting healthy and achieving my weight loss goals - I must be selfish. And I'm totally fine with that. Because being a healthier me will help me to be be a better wife, a better employee, a better friend, daughter, sister, etc.

This is really a great time in my life to conquer this. Because we don't have kids yet (and because my husband is understanding and supportive) I can really focus on getting healthy. But sometimes its hard. It means saying no to going out with friends if I feel I won't be able to resist the temptation to drink or eat junk. It means being less spontaneous and having fewer dinners out with Aaron. It means going to bed earlier. There are a lot of sacrifices to make - but they are all worth it. And most importantly, I am worth it.

I Am In Control

Happy Saturday - guys! It's dreary and rainy here but I'm having a great day! I think I had a bit of a breakthrough today.

I headed to the gym this afternoon for my running workout. If you've read my goals for the next 30 days, you know that I'm working up to being able to run for 30 minutes. At this point, I do walking/running intervals and the running intervals are getting longer while the walking intervals get shorter.

The reason that I made this one of my goals is that I've always tried to run (since I started on the X-Country team in the 5th grade) and I've always failed. My sister Debi was the #1 runner on our middle school X-Country team and I came in last (way, way, way last) every single race except for one (because I got lost and cut off 1/2 the course). Then I had a boyfriend several years ago who was a big runner and he got me to agree to run the Philadelphia marathon with him - one of the worst experiences of my life! I've always accepted running as something I just can't do - so - I'm determined to conquer it.

Anyways - during today's workout I was extending my running intervals. Sometimes during my intervals I start to doubt myself. When I question whether or not I'll be able to make it the whole way, my doubt has physical consequences. My breathing starts to become hurried and stressed. I lose my rhythm. It just starts to feel so much harder. I usually give up at that point. I accept that some days just aren't great days and a mediocre workout is better than no workout at all.

Today, as I started to doubt whether or not I'd be able to get through these longer intervals, a loud, strong thought ran through my head - I AM IN CONTROL.  "I am in control of this workout. I am in control of my strong body. I am in control of my strong lungs. I am in control of my strong legs - my strong core - my controlled breathing". I'm not going to say that the workout was effortless - it was crazy hard - but it was so much easier than when I doubt myself. My breathing was steady, my stride was long, my core was strong. It felt good.

As I was driving home from the gym I realized that believing that I am in control can make this entire journey easier. I am in control of my choices about food. I am in control of my attitude and my beliefs about myself.

This has been a tough few days but today was a very positive turning point. I am in control!

Water Weight

I think I've talked about this before but I'm bringing it up again because I'm feeling so frustrated. I have a MAJOR issue with water retention. I mean, as soon as I eat (even if its a chicken breast and steamed greens) my hands get puffy to where I can't remove my wedding ring. Seriously. It's crazy. (No, its not allergies. I've been tested).

It was recommended that I start supplementing with dandelion extract. I tried that, but it didn't improve my water retention. Then I cut out my supplements. This is the 3rd day without my supplements. I'm more frustrated than ever. I'm still retaining a substantial amount of water and I'm REALLY feeling the difference without my supplements. Its a great thing in that I can tell that the supplements were making a difference. For example, one of the supplements I take is to help maintain optimal levels of cortisol and manage stress - the past two days without it my stress level has been significantly higher. I feel tense and on edge. One of the other supplements helps with cravings and satiety. Let me just tell you that in the past couple of days I've noticed a MAJOR increase in cravings. Bad news! I've GOT to get back on these supplements! Ugh. No fun.

Anyways - I've cut out sodium, dairy and artificial sweeteners but still having this significant water retention issue. Such a bummer. Feeling defeated today.

Tough Day

Today has been tough. I don't know why, it's just been a hard day. I felt overwhelmed at work as soon as the day started. Feeling like there is a lot on my plate and not really knowing where to dive in and get started. I looked at my crazy long list of things to do and felt defeated. The crazy thing is, I have a crazy long list every day. For some reason, today I felt much less in control. Somebody brought in brownies and I really, really wanted one. I wasn't hungry, and I wasn't even craving chocolate - I just wanted to eat crap. I felt like it would make me feel better. I must have walked by them 50 times. But I didn't eat one.

Then I got home from work and my sweet husband grilled me a turkey burger. I ate it, wasn't hungry anymore, sat down to pay some bills....and just wanted to eat again. Had there been junk food in the house, I'm pretty confident I would have eaten it. That whole bargaining thing (see my last post) started to happen. "You're stressed. It's been a bad day. Take the night off from eating healthy. What's one night?" Fortunately, there wasn't any "real" junk. There was, however, a bag of FF microwave popcorn. And I ate it. And now I feel guilty.

Looking back on the day, I'm trying to identify what made me feel different than other days. 1) I didn't really have time to eat my snacks at work. 2) I didn't write down my non-work goals for the day. 3) I didn't take my Transitions ACTS (I think that might be a big part of this). 3. I didn't have any veggies with my lunch OR dinner (I know - bad bad. I had tuna on a high fiber tortilla for lunch and just a turkey burger for dinner).  I guess it's not too hard to identify what went wrong!! I mean, not a terrible day, but not my best day either. I'm tired and cranky and feeling defeated. I guess this is a day to go to bed early, huh?

Bargaining with Myself

Hey guys - sorry I didn't get to post a blog last night...we have no power because of the storms around here. We aren't expected to get it back until tomorrow! Such a drag. I'm feeling totally gross today without a "proper" shower.

Let me ask a rhetorical question: Do you ever bargain with yourself? I totally do it all the time. I had planned all day yesterday to go to the gym after work. However, on my way home, the bargaining started. "I really don't want to work out tonight. In fact, I'm tired and it probably wouldn't be a great workout. It would probably be better if I take tonight off and just work out early tomorrow AM. I mean, my food has been perfect. I'm still going to lose weight regardless of whether or not I workout. Well, we'll play it by ear. Let me just relax for a few minutes before I decide."

Fortunately for me, the power was out when I got home. Not TV to watch - no internet to distract me. The gym became my best option. But honestly, if the power had not been out, I'm not sure I would have worked out. And if I had put it off til this morning, I'm about 99% sure I wouldn't have worked out. As I was going through my workout I was reminded of the saying "Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today". It's so true. There was nothing going on to keep me from the gym. I just didn't feel like it. But a big part of this journey, for me, is making the decision to do things because they are good for me - regardless of whether or not I feel like it.

And the bargaining isn't always about workouts. Oftentimes its food. "I'm not going to have any cake at this party. I don't need it. But it looks so good. I'll just have a small piece. A small piece is better than a huge piece, right? I've been good all day. I'll have a small dinner. I'll workout extra hard tonight".

It's those internal dialogues that threaten success. It's old habits trying to creep back in to my every day life. Temptation. Justification. Bargaining. I'm working to be more aware of those internal struggles and identify them as what they are: threats. lies. attempts to throw me off course.

As for yesterday, I made it to the gym and had a great workout. Once I finished, as always, I was so glad I went. 

My Appetite Is Not For Food

Have you read 'Women Food and God'? I'm reading it now. I bought it several months ago at the recommendation of my sister, Emily, but I was working through several other books and didn't get through the first chapter of it but now I'm diving back in. I loved the first chapter and I hope I like the rest just as well. Be prepared for numerous references between now and when I finish.

I sat down to read for a bit but didn't even get through a page before I felt the need to share it here. Such a huge, powerful, substantial thought - I had to put it out there.

In chapter 2 Geneen writes: "Women turn to food when they are not hungry because they are hungry for something they can't name: a connection to what is beyond the concerns of daily life. Something deathless, something sacred. But replacing the hunger for divine connection with Double Stuf Oreos is like giving a glass of sand to a person dying of thirst. It creates more thirst, more panic...We lose the pieces of ourselves waiting to be found beneath it."

Um, hello. Yeah. I can totally relate to that feeling of turning to food only to make things so much worse. My challenge here is to define what exactly I'm longing for that I have been silencing with food. To seek and find those pieces of myself that are hidden beneath 20+ years of emotional garbage. I don't have any answers today. I'm just spending more time with myself and my thoughts - time in prayer, time in self-reflection and brutal honesty about my feelings.

Does this make any sense to anyone? Maybe other people quench their hunger with drugs or lust or money and totally can't relate to my issue with food. I don't know. What are you truly hungry for? Have you always known? When I find out what I'm hungry for, I'll let you know.

The Morning After

So, last night I had a cheat meal. It wasn't a spur-of-the-moment-I-need-to-eat-that kind of thing. I planned it out. It's been 4 weeks and I wanted to enjoy a cheat meal and challenge myself to not let it turn in to a downward spiral.

So, last night Aaron and I went out for Mexican food (my favorite) and I ate a chicken chimichanga. I didn't eat the rice or beans that came with the meal - I planned to - but honestly, my chimichanga totally filled me up (that's rare). I really credit that entirely to Transitions CORE - one of the supplements I take that helps me to feel fuller sooner. After dinner, I got some fat-free sugar-free vanilla frozen yogurt with chocolate sprinkles. I didn't feel guilty at all because I had planned for it. I didn't go overboard and I didn't go crazy.

But, the most important part for me was the morning after. This morning. Getting back on track. Oftentimes in the past, a night out turns in to breakfast out the next morning or a stop for ice cream the next day. I had a plan for today - I knew exactly what I was going to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I knew I was going to get up, fix an egg white omelet, go to church, come home and have a grilled chicken salad, go the gym, go grocery shopping, have a protein bar for a snack and then have tuna for dinner. So far, so good.  Here's a little peak of this week's groceries.

I had a really great workout this afternoon (so great I nearly fainted afterwards and felt sick to my stomach for about an hour). I'm headed out here shortly to take the dog to the dog park and I am planning to do some yoga later tonight while I watch Army Wives. It's a good day. Anyways - I thought it was important to share here about my cheat day. Don't worry - it doesn't mean I'm off track in any way, shape, or form. In fact, being able to get back on track today is milestone. Here's to having a week as successful as the weekend! One of my goals this week is to make sure I get 30 grams of fiber each day.

If You Can Walk, You Can Run

I love Saturdays. Saturday is by far my favorite day of the week. It is the only day where I feel like I can make my own schedule and go at my own pace. Of course, I know that will only work until I have kids. But for now, I absolutely love Saturdays.

Today was a great Saturday. I woke up early and went to the gym, went to a friend's birthday party, went and did a little shopping, took a long nap, then had dinner and saw a movie with Aaron. Best of all, its 9:20 and we are in the for the night. If you know me, you know I'm a morning person. More importantly, I am NOT a night owl. I would be perfectly happy to be fast asleep by 9pm every night. That never happens, but I love getting home early and getting a good night's sleep.

So, if you read my post about goals yesterday, you know that within the next 30 days I will be able to run for 30 minutes straight. I've NEVER been a runner. I've always wanted to be, but I've told myself that my body just isn't meant to run. But I'm determined to prove myself wrong. If you can walk, you can run, right?

Right now, I think from a cardiovascular endurance standpoint I could totally do it. But, since I carry most of my extra weight in my hips, butt and legs, my legs get too tired and even though I'm not winded or fatigued, my legs just won't carry me any further. So - I've started an 8 week program that I plan to do in 4-5 weeks. We'll see if I'm being over ambitious or if its reasonable. I started out today with 30 minutes on the treadmill doing repeated intervals of running and walking. Over the next few weeks, the running intervals will get longer and the walking intervals will get shorter. While its only day one, the workout today felt great. It was empowering and energizing. I'm really excited for the next one. I'll definitely keep you posted about my progress!

One of the things I picked up while I was shopping today was dandelion extract. I have a major issue with water retention. In a matter of minutes my ring can go from very lose to not even able to turn on my finger. It's really pretty crazy. I don't know why I have such crazy fluctuations, but its really frustrating. So, I picked up the dandelion extract to help mitigate the water retention. Let me just say - it tastes AWFUL. Totally gross. But hopefully it will serve its intended purpose.

That's all for today. No breakthrough thoughts - no crazy revelations. Just my day. Enjoy your weekend!

Setting Goals

I am so glad today is Friday! I know I keep saying it but I am so tired this week! Is anybody else feeling that? I need to energize this weekend for sure!

I know I don't talk much about my job on this blog - and I don't plan to - but I think my job is unique in that my work is actually an environment in which my weight loss goals are totally supported. My job is totally focused around health and nutrition. This week, I was helping out with the development of some support materials for our weight management program. One of the things we were talking about is the importance of setting goals. I am a bigtime goal setter. I have goals for work, goals for my marriage, goals for my finances. But while working on this project, I realized that I haven't yet set goals for this weight loss/health transformation journey.

So, not only have I set goals - I am sharing them with you so that you all can help me stay focused and accountable. Because I have a lot of weight to lose and this will be a long process for me, I am setting 30 day and 120 day goals as well as long term goals. I'll remind myself of these goals each day and tweak them as neccessary. I'll definitely have to create new goals after 90 days for the next 3 or 6 months.

30 Day Goals (Target Date: May 1st)

• Between now and May 1st I will exercise at least 4 times each week
• Between now and May 1st I will stop all negative self talk and positively affirm myself and my actions daily
• By May 1st I will be able to jog for 30 minutes without stopping
• By May 1st I will weigh 10 lbs less than I do now.
• Between now and May 1st I will consume at least 30 grams of fiber daily
• Between now and May 1st I will reduce my body fat percentage by at least 1.5%

 120 Day Goals (Target Date: August 1)

• By August 1st I will decrease my pant size by at least 2 sizes
• Between now and August 1st I will blog at least 4 times each week
• Between now and August 1st I will identify and journal situations in which I eat for emotion instead of hunger or fuel
• Between now and August 1st I will try at least 2 new low GI recipes each month
• Between now and August 1st I will reduce my body fat by at least 5%

Long Term Goals

• To boost my confidence and truly believe that I am beautiful
• To achieve and maintain less than 25% body fat
• To get pregnant, maintain a healthy pregnancy and have a healthy baby
• To be an example of peak physical and emotional health in my family and at work

So, there you have it. You know what I'm trying to and why. I'll definitely keep you guys posted as I make progress!