Lack of Discipline

Hey guys! I hope if you're reading this you are in a sunnier part of the country! It is dreary and raining here for like the millionth day in a row! Bring on the sunshine please!!!

So I wanted to write really honestly here for a minute. I've probably said this before, but it's on my heart again tonight - this journey really isn't about weight loss. Do I need to lose weight? Um, yeah. Big time. But that isn't my primary goal. It always has been, but its not anymore. Everyday my goal is to be a more whole, more balanced, more Christian, God-loving, God-fearing woman. Right now, one of my biggest struggles on that journey is discipline. I have a selective, but broad, lack of discipline. It is on my heart to be more disciplined in my words, my actions and my thoughts. Obviously, a big way in which my lack of discipline manifests is over-eating.

In the past 10 years or so, I've tried to attack this lack of discipline a million different ways: starvation diets, purging, compulsive exercise, the list goes on and on. But recently, when feeling really overwhelmed so many areas of my life that I feel need improvement, I had a moment of clarity. A moment where I realized that if I just focused on one thing, all of these pieces could fall in to place. That I didn't need to constantly feel so fragmented - like nothing ever got 100% of my effort and I was always failing. I realized that if I focus my heart, mind and energy on wildly pursuing Jesus, that all these other facets of life would likely fall in to step.

The past couple weeks have been emotionally challenging for me. There is a lot going on and I'm faced with uncertainty and straight-up fear. Tonight, with the pouring rain making me feel even more down, I decided to turn off the TV and open my bible. I've been reading through the New Testament and I felt drawn to open to the book of Hebrews. After reading for a few minutes I was struck by this passage: "No discipline feels pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed" (Hebrews 12: 11-13).

Um - speaking to me much??? That was exactly where my mind was when I opened up my Bible tonight. Between that passage and Hebrews 2:18 "Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted", I just feel so encourage, inspired and renewed tonight.

Maybe you feel torn. Maybe you feel like there isn't enough of yourself to give to all that requires your attention. You cannot walk forwards, backwards and to the side at the same time. Identify your most basic objective and walk confidently in that direction. Everything else will fall in to place.